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never had I moments
of waking in a strange bed
next to lithe flesh
unknown to me
yet I presumably I had known it
the night before

my wakings
in beds always
I remember
alone in soul
even when with
loved one
at my side

morning is horror
I disavow thought
'til noon
avoiding the comprehension
of another day starting
my continued role on
its stage
cringing at rehearsed lines
I must enunciate to project
to the back row critics
of my performance

always do I wonder
could I ever once pry
open my own
hungover lids
to comprehend a new ceiling
thread count unfamiliar
the scent of a stupored knowing
caressing my senses
would I then dread
every morning thereafter
Not feeling well, obviously...
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:icongreywin:
Greywin Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
very beautiful work
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:icontgfascinated:
TGfascinated Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. Most of my poetry is usually posted here: enigmaticsmile.deviantart.com if you're interested.
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:icongreywin:
Greywin Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much
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:iconfallenfromthestarz:
FallenfromtheStarz Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
agreed^^^^^^^^^^
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:iconfallenfromthestarz:
FallenfromtheStarz Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
i meant to point down
Reply
:icontgfascinated:
TGfascinated Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
What does it mean if you point down? And do you agree with the poem or what TraceStudios said?
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:iconfallenfromthestarz:
FallenfromtheStarz Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
yes.Ilike poem I do.I just think its a little slathered together thats all.What for did you write this in?
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:icontgfascinated:
TGfascinated Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Microsoft Wordpad.
Reply
:iconfallenfromthestarz:
FallenfromtheStarz Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
i meant to say what form did you write this in?
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:icontgfascinated:
TGfascinated Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Free verse...
Reply
:iconfallenfromthestarz:
FallenfromtheStarz Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
you should look into forms my friend and meter,itll help you put this poem into a bran new perspective(dont get me wrong I think this poem is excellant,I really do,I almost thought I was reading poetry from ancient time almost)i just think that if you add some form and meter,you poems will explode unto greatness and youll give it a "life"
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(1 Reply)
:icontracestudios:
TraceStudios Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Student Writer
I like the idea you have here, but the grammar and word choice could be straightened out and puffed up a bit, just to make it an easier read and to give it some pizazz. Other than that, the idea is wonderful, and you could cut the emotion with a pair of scissors its so palpable, unfortunately i don't want to break my computer, so there will be no scissor usage
Reply
:icontgfascinated:
TGfascinated Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I've been having trouble sleeping, so I'm sure my wording could be fixed up... plus, I was already up late as it was... thank you, though. :)
Reply
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